Tuesday

Well, some of the “bumps” I mentioned in the last post began to show up today. Certainly our most difficult day with Ca so far. We saw how frustrating it must be to be stuck living with people who won’t do the things you want, or give you the things you want, and can’t even talk to you about it like reasonable people.

We had another free day, so ventured out to a local market to look for some tea. It was sunny for the first time today, which was lovely - and very hot. 

We don’t actually remember all the details of the difficulties we had, but do recall spending more than an hour sitting on a sidewalk, wracking our 3 brains collectively to figure out how to get Ca unstuck. We had told her no 3 or 4 times in a row over the course of the morning - about ice cream, snacks, and probably something else. She was so upset and saddened by these refusals that she chose not to walk any further and wouldn’t allow us to pick her up. Together, we were stuck, quite literally, with her. To break this log jam, we chose to use the snacks and, more importantly, to play with them. We have a long series of goofy photos of us putting the cracker sticks into our mouths, ears, noses, etc. We’ll spare you most of those pics. Needless to say, we got more than a few strange looks from passersby. Though, one guy gave us a thumbs up.

Within an hour, we were again stuck because of her frustrations and ended up drawing on the sidewalk and playing other games with the water we had packed. All this delay resulted in postponement of I’s desired activity - paddleboat on the lake. He has been so understanding and gracious. We have found it difficult to make sure he has a voice throughout this trip and are trying to include him in the decision-making when possible.

I (E) was very irritated with Ca today. She has been loud, childish, obstinate, and grumpy. All of these things are completely reasonable for her to have been, given her history and her circumstances. I have been intolerant and childishly impatient with her. B has been very patient with both of us, reminding me that in order for her to learn better patterns of behavior, she has to feel safe, secure, and loved regardless of her behavior. Our Heavenly Father certainly sets the standard for loving inconveniently. So I am driven back to dependence on Him for a supernatural source of charitable judgements, patience, and wisdom.

Of course my sweet girl doesn’t know yet how to be considerate, gracious, or self-controlled. Without a family, she’s never had the opportunity to learn. It’s my job to teach her that she is precious and loved whether or not she is kind, reasonable, or polite. Her value is not dependent on her willingness to keep the water in the bathtub, only spit outside or in the trash can, or use her “indoor voice.” She is fearfully and wonderfully made - beyond price to her Heavenly Father. Lord, help me to see her as you see her, and love her as you love her. Give me your perspective, and help me to trust you for the resources I need to show her how incredibly precious she is.

Despite the struggles, we made a lot of progress today with “using your words” - Ca’s been very responsive to our requests for her to ask for what she wants/needs. She’s got a great “Chinglish” request for Mama to carry her (which she asks frequently). “Mama, please ba wo” (‘carry me’, I think.)She learned how to knock on the closed door before entering the bathroom today (thanks to I for being such a patient responder to our repeated requests).

It occurred to me tonight, as I accidentally rinsed my toothbrush in the non-potable tap water, to be grateful that we are more than 3/4 of the way through our time in China, and none of us have gotten GI sick. No food poisoning or other vomiting, diarrhea, etc. I’s throat/fever is completely healed, and neither B nor I have gotten such a full version of what he had. Thank you, Lord, for the health we have enjoyed so far!

Here in this tropical climate, nearly all the public shrubbery grows beautiful flowers.
The median strips are filled with flowering bougainvillea!

stuck.

Playing with water on a beautiful day at the park

From far away, we thought this was a playground. Turns out it's some kind of
public gymnasium with various bodyweight exercise equipment. Another time we visited,
it was absolutely packed with adults in street clothes (we saw one woman in heels
and another in a business suit) vigorously exercising. Truly fascinating.