Fear and Fun!

Today I faced one of my big fears - I took Ca to the grocery store and shopped! We had been on a tour last week - just to look and for me to gauge her reaction. This morning, after "second breakfast," I packed a sleeve of graham crackers as a defense and we went to Wegmans. We got a "car cart" so she could drive (and be contained). She gazed and pointed, and wanted all sorts of candy, chips, yogurt and crackers, and I mostly told her no, and discussed whether we had it at home, or why we weren't going to buy it. We had one moment when she grabbed a candy off an end cap, and I thought, "here it comes." I asked her to put it back, and waited. She kissed it to show her love, longingly mouthed the package a bit, and then she put it back, and was willing to give me a high five when I praised her. Overall, a really wonderful trip.

We got home and she jumped right in to help carry the groceries inside and put them away. After lunch, it began to storm. Ca told me all about lightning, and how the thunder would boom. She wanted to go outside and see the rain - I took her to the front porch where she could see it and touch it and smell it and not be in it. After about a minute, she'd had enough waiting and wanted to go out in it. Some of you may know that splashing in puddles is a joy I've shared with my kids for years, and it was sweet to share it with my newest one. The shrieks of laughter and sparkles in her eyes made me wonder if she's ever done this before - been invited to play in the rain with a grownup. We skipped and splashed around the block, she pretended to swim where the water was deep in the gutters, and we generally had a blast. When the wind began to get stronger, we went inside and peeled off our wet things and enjoyed getting dry and warm.

Then we got in the car (holy cow! Mama, you have WINDSHIELD WIPERS! they go back and forth! and you have them in the back too! O wow!) and went to the humane society. If Wegmans is like Disneyland exploded on the grocery store (to quote a friend), then Lollipop Farm is like Disneyland exploded on the humane society. We visited the bunnies, and cats, and dogs, and birds, and a pig. I learned that while cats through glass or through bars are truly wonderful and fascinating creatures, cats in the same room with you are horrifically life threatening. Dogs must have bars AND glass to be enjoyable. But they're funny to watch. Ca's response to the pets reminded me of S's response when he first came home. Desperately wanted to see them - if he was off the ground and out of reach. And he's come around. So we've got an idea how to move her from fear to enjoyment.

Today also marks one month from the day we met face to face. Hard to believe.