It's Really Happening!

Well, as of today, we have our official Travel Approval paperwork from the Chinese government, our passports with entry visas, plane tickets and hotel reservations. We're going to China in August! Stay tuned...

God is Good While We Wait

We are hoping to get the 'go ahead' to buy our plane tickets today. In the meantime, not only am I really at peace with God's timing, but seeing His goodness to us. After sharing my struggles with some other adoptive moms, they pointed me to (God provided) a visa courier who could get the visas in plenty of time (before we booked our hotels/flights) - relieving the biggest time squeeze. The same moms recommended a travel agent to work with me through the logistics of the actual air ticket purchase. So both of the pieces of this puzzle that were causing me anxiety have been perfectly provided. And God is reminding me that really, REALLY, He's taking care of the details.

 

So although I never would have imagined we'd be cutting it this close with booking our travel, I feel [almost] completely at ease. And those of you who know how I like to plan and organize can marvel with me at what a gift from God that is!

 

And another little great tidbit I received over the weekend...

I had an embarrassingly selfish interaction with a too-early-rising S on Sunday morning. Maybe you've had a child that needs connection and just wants to 'be with you' - at 6:10am. But I saw through that interaction how inordinately I love sleep. And God used this interaction (before Ca is with us) to help me organize my priorities. Being well rested is definitely helpful and equips me to interact best during the day. Sleep is more important than one more chapter of my book, and probably even more important than one more episode of Downton Abbey. ;) But my sleep is not more important than my kids are. I need to be ready to (especially as Ca is first adjusting) go to bed without those little luxuries so that if my kids who need my care and nurture interrupt my sleep, I can love them above the sleep I'm missing at 3:00am.

Not only is my Heavenly Father taking care of the logistics of this adoption, he's getting our hearts ready, too! We feel tremendously blessed.

Faithless & Struggling

So we still have no news about our travel approval, and the window of time for our plans to come together for August is rapidly closing. Last night I slept fitfully all night dreaming about booking plane tickets.
Today has been a struggle with anxiety. What if the approvals don't come in time for us to get plane tickets and visas? And somehow, that seems like the end of the world.

I've been anxious and cranky, worrisome and frankly, faithless. It's been a pretty bad day.

And tomorrow is another day. Lord, grant me faith. Help my heart to trust your plan, even if we can't go to China in August.

Working to be "Ready"

            So, as of Friday, we are definitely planning to go to China on August 6. But the details aren't finalized - no final approvals, no visa appointments, no hotel reservations, no airplane tickets yet. B and I have had many conversations about how quickly this is happening and how unprepared we feel. And then we laugh at ourselves, since we had just about a week to get ready after the earthquake in Haiti when S came home. We got "bad" news Friday again - after one of the approvals on Monday, the current one was supposed to take "2-4 days" - and on day 5 we still didn't have it. The agency is still saying we'll go in August, but the time remaining for the outstanding tasks is getting rather narrow.  And as I read the news (of no final approval yet) I felt sad and heavy. 

           Then, as I was taping off another room Friday night so we could paint it Saturday, I was listening to a sermon from John Piper, (fantastic sermon series on "The Pleasures of God" from 1987) I was reminded that our God was the same One who made stars! and invented kangaroos! and created kidneys and pollen and waterfalls and fingernails! He has completely got all the details of everything for this adoption under control.

            And of course, not just the details of the adoption paperwork, but the details of our foreign travel, and even of Ca's adjustment home. And I feel blessed and confident and safe in my heavenly Father's hands.

P.S. with help from our fabulous & helpful kids, we got the room completely painted, put back together, and furniture moved into in the new "kids' office" before bed on Saturday night!

Fear and Hope

      In the past few days, I've (E) had a few clusters of interactions with both S and Co that have felt a lot like "normal" used to be - always negative and antagonistic. It's been pretty scary for me to feel like my parenting is taking two steps backward when I'm supposed to be taking 5 or 6 steps forward in preparation for bringing home our fourth child. But as I've thought and prayed through the lessons I learned that helped us end that downward spiral and start building upwards, I saw the blessing in needing to remember how to think about my 'uncooperative child' differently. I will certainly be bringing home a child who does not cooperate well, and will probably need work at keeping my thoughts towards her charitable. I will need to remember that my Heavenly Father, not my "effective parenting strategies" is the hope of change for each of my children.

      And then I read an article about homeschooling that contained a fabulous parenting reminder: "I have found that I am more kind and patient when I am not focused on those things that frighten me." And I praised the Lord for helping me see again the fears that are at the root of so much of my struggle.  My fear drives my desire for control and my desire for a 'cooperative child,' and I am afraid when I believe the lie that I am the only one working for the maturity and character of my children.  Thank you, Father, that perfect love casts out all fear. Thank you that when I look full in your wonderful face, the things that scare me lose their power to drive me. Remind me to bring you my fears and anxieties. Thank you that you nurture and discipline my children far more effectively than I can. Thank you for the blessing of B as my partner in parenting. Thank you for the wonderful gift of my kids and for using them to show me how desperately I need you and how full you can fill me. And if you, reader, ever hear me talk about my stress or anxiety, please consider this an open invitation to ask me what I'm scared of.

Do I trust Him?

            So, about 3 weeks ago, we got the step in the process that allowed the Travel Coordinator to tell us "it looks like you'll likely be able to go to China in August." Since we had a vacation in Yellowstone for my parents' 50th anniversary (Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!) coming up and expected to confirm China travel by the time we got back, we were waiting to post about it. But now we're back, and the approval that was supposed to take 2-3 weeks is taking 4. So we're back in limbo - hoping and planning to go to China in early August, but being reminded again that God (and not us) has the timing of our adoption PRECISELY in His hands.

            And not only the timing, but the funding as well!  We are very excited to announce that our Both Hands Adoption Fundraiser has surpassed our $18,000 goal. So we have enough money in our account to cover all of our anticipated travel expenses, and a number of smaller expenses we'd already incurred in the process. In the event that our total expenses are less than projected, any money left in our account will be rolled over to Both Hands' granting fund to help other families bring home their children.         

            In both of these cases, I see again God's clear direction in our adoption of Ca. He provided the match with our daughter, He is in charge of the timing of when she comes home, He has already provided the funding to do it...Truly, He is GOOD!

P.S. Click here to watch a really cute video about Fathers' Day from two kids who warm my heart...