Gain and Loss

Today we received some precious photos of our daughter with her 'special caregiver'. We looked at these beautiful images of someone that we're learning to love, and saw someone who she obviously already loves and loves her. We felt both joyful to know that someone has already been loving our little girl, and incredibly grateful to this woman who has shared such a tender bond with our little one. But B made an incredibly insightful comment that here were two hearts that would break when we brought Ca home. Both of them will face enormous losses for our gain. Oh, the complexities of the miracle of adoption! Lord, make me faithful in praying for our little girl and everyone who loves her. Thank You that You hold each of us in Your hands.

Daily Waiting Life

      The whole family started private Chinese lessons today with a friend of a friend who is a native speaker and teaches classes for kids in her home. I had a wonderful time and really enjoyed learning more about the grammatical structure of Chinese. The four tones are really hard for me, but Miss J assures me that "if you're close, they'll know what you mean." I can't wait for our next lesson.

      Another family that we "know" through Facebook is in China right now picking up their daughter from the Social Welfare Institute where Ca lives. Seeing photos of our daughter and her friends - and how she's growing just since we've been watching - is wonderful and sad all at once. Sad because we're missing being part of her life, wonderful because even at this distance, we're learning that she is precious. We don't even know her yet, but we know the One who made her and we know that He made her unique and beautiful and we can't wait to get to know her. As B and I were talking about it, I came to the conclusion that she's not becoming precious because she's ours, but we're discovering her preciousness because she's ours. I can find her face in a sea of faces in a photo of a group of kids. And it's my daughter's face - a face I love. Wŏ ài nĭ, Ca!

The Letter That Changes Her Life

I'm not sure how long the mail takes to get places in China, but it's very likely that Ca has recently received our introduction letter. I can't imagine what it must be like to get a letter like that - that tells you your whole life is about to change. I hope you'll join me in praying for her heart - that she will be excited and curious, and that when there are things that scare her, she can get answers that give her peace.

When? "Fall"

     Well, it's been quite the roller coaster emotionally over the past week. I have been saying with my mouth all along, "Ca will come home in God's perfect timing." But the rubber has really been meeting the road. Do I really trust God's timing? To make a very detailed story rather short, in the last 10 days I've gone from worrying that we won't travel before Christmas to wondering if we'll miss our annual August beach vacation this year to go to China. [For the record, our dossier (paperwork) went to China on 3/27/15, and was received by the Chinese Authorities (CCCWA) on 3/31/15.]

     And still, God and God alone knows exactly when she'll come home. And it's still kinda "Fall." So I come back to my Father, chuckling at myself, thanking Him that He is completely sovereign, and thanking Him that I don't need to know exactly when. I just need to keep working on the bedroom rearrangements and praying and trusting Him.